Prelude to Space

An Epithaliamium

So Man, grown vigorous now,

Holds himself ripe to breed,

Daily devises how

To ejaculate his seed

And boldly fertilize

The black womb of the unconsenting skies.

Some now alive expect

(I am told) to see the large,

Steel member grow erect,

Turgid with the fierce charge

Of our whole planet's skill,

Courage, wealth, knowledge, concentrated will,

Straining with lust to stamp

Our likeness on the abyss-

Bombs, gallows, Belsen camp,

Pox, polio, Thais' kiss

Or Judas, Moloch's fires

And Torquemada's (sons resemble sires).

Shall we, when the grim shape

Roars upward, dance and sing?

Yes: if we honour rape,

If we take pride to Ring

So bountifully on space

The sperm of our long woes, our large disgrace.

- C.S. Lewis

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After reading Into the Silent Planet, and now Prelude to Space, i think i have a bit more perspective on how C.S Lewis is portraying space. Lewis describes space as being full of light, not darkness. Since we only see "space" at night, when we are looking away from the sun, we see darkness. But once you get outside our planet, it all becomes light. Then Lewis associates this bright space with goodness, innocence, and purity. It is obvious from the book that humans are bent, and that other creatures are not. In this poem, Lewis equates man's venture into the depths of space with bringing the sin of our world--war, disease, concentration camps, lust, rape, and murder--out into the purity of the unknown. I appreciate how Lewis implies that if there is life outside our planet, we should leave then untainted... unbent.

Meteor Shower

I CAN FINALLY SEE

THAT YOU'RE RIGHT THERE BESIDE ME

I AM NOT MY OWN

FOR I HAVE BEEN MADE NEW

PLEASE DON'T LET ME GO

I DESPERATELY NEED YOU

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Due to my recent liking of Adam Young's music Owl City, i have come to be fond a few songs. My 3 favorite happen to appear in order on his newest album Ocean Eyes:

"Meteor Shower"

"On the Wing"

"Fireflies"

My favorite of these three is "Meteor Shower". It is short and sweet. It is beautiful. I don't know how it couldn't be about God. Both the words and sounds reflect a heart of adoration for God... it is unmistakable.

Finding God

I know You're watching me

I know You're waiting for me

To come and give You my time

I know of all You can do

And i know all You went through

But sometimes it's easier to hide

You've given me so much in life

I know it's all gonna be alright

But it's hard to keep out of sight

Certain pleasures, certain wants

Specific things the devil flaunts

In front of me - sometime i bite

I know, but sometimes don't believe

Certain things my eyes can't see

Like who i am and what i mean

What i fear and what i dream

What You say and what You said

Every letter colored red

Sometimes i just believe in me

What i can do, what i can see

My mind, my hands, my moral way

I think i know just what to say

But there and then

(The lion's den)

Do i begin

To see my sin

I hope and pray

I'll find the way

By Your Word

By a song

You whisper to me "you belong"

I can smile as i sleep

Because Your love has struck me deep

Now i can breathe out

Unbinding, unwinding

You Are the ONLY ONE worth finding

"By Your Side"

Why are striving these days

Why are you trying to earn grace

Why are you crying

Let me lift up your face

Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love

Why are you searching as if i'm not enough

To where will you go child

Tell me where will you run

To where will you run

And i'll be by your side

Wherever you fall

In the dead of night

Whenever you call

And please don't fight

These hands that are holding you

My hands are holding you

Look at these hands of mine

They swallowed the grave on that night

When i drank the world's sin

So i could carry you in

And give you life

I want to give you life

Cuz i, i love you

I want you to know

That i, i love you

I'll never let you go

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I think these are some of most beautiful words i've ever read or sang. This has pointed me back to God countless times. If you've never heard the song ("By Your Side" - Tenth Avenue North), or you haven't listened to it recently, it wouldn't be a waste of your time to YouTube the song and give it a listen.

Memories

I finished Out of the Silent Planet a few days ago, and I got to experience the joy of finishing a book. I suppose I've read many books, but I definitely do not know that feeling very well. I, on the whole, am not a very disciplined reader; so whenever I finish a book, I feel very satisfied. I have already shared one excerpt, but I'd like to share another, this part being my favorite part of the whole book. Interestingly they both come from chapter 12.

The following comes from a discussion between Ransom (the main character) and Hyoi (a creature from another planet). They are discussing pleasure and when it is fully realized. Ransom, at first, argues that pleasure exists most fully it the moment itself. Hyoi argues...

"A pleasure is full grown only when it is remembered. You are speaking [man] as if the pleasure were one thing and the memory another. It is all one thing... what you call remembering is the last part of the pleasure. When you and I met, the meeting was over very shortly, it was nothing. Now is it growing something as we remember it. But still we know very little about it. What it will be when I remember it as I lie down to die, what it makes in me all my days till then - that is the real meeting. The other is only the beginning of it. You say you have poets in your world. Do they not teach you this?"

According to the book, the human world has become bent. This must be one of the many ways in which that is true. Our poets do not only not teach what Hyoi was talking about, but they teach the exact opposite: that we must seize the pleasure of the moment while we can as much as we can.

Closing thought: the world would probably be a better place if we listened to someone who is out of this world.

Crazy About You

The idea that man is fallen is not a new concept by any means, but it is good to reminded of it if only to be reminded of how man is lifted up: by the grace of God. Isaac Hunter, pastor of Summit Church, puts it this way -

"God is crazy about you"

I love that description specifically because it reminds me that God is actively pursuing to improve His relationship with me... even though i don't deserve Him.

I'm reading C.S. Lewis' book Out of the Silent Planet. Without giving away too much, when the creatures from a different planet learn about the wickedness of earth's man, they (and so consequently C.S. Lewis) put it this way -

"There must be rule, yet how can creatures rule themselves? ... They are like one trying to lift himself by his own hair - or one trying to see over a whole country when he is on a level with it - like a female trying to beget young by herself."

This is a very poetic and fresh way of thinking of the hopelessness of man. We need someone to lift us up on their shoulders so we can see past ourselves and know what life is all about. For us humans here on earth, that someone already has come - His name is Jesus, and He is crazy about you.

Hope

One of my favorite times of year is autumn. When the leaves change colors and then fall off the trees... when the hoodies come out... when the weather outside at high noon is so nice, you can't help but do something outside, even if its just sitting and smelling the air. There is also the feel of college football on Saturdays and the anticipation of Christmas to warm the soul. Sadly, though, i don't think that time of year visits Orlando except on rare occasions, which destroys part of the joy of waking up and knowing that because it is so beautiful outside, it is very hard to have bad day.

The background of this picture is an example of why i loved NGU so much.

About this time last year i wrote a poem during my psychology class at NGU (a class which served as a great place to spend time writing). This is a poem that is an example of how some of my thoughts are short and sweet. I appreciate the longer poems by the greats of poetry, but there is something to be said about not saying too much on a subject. I'd explain in more detail, but i think that would defeat the purpose.

Hope

The morning and the mist arise

I see my breath to my surprise

Both cool and windy are the skies

I love the falling autumn leaves

With warmer clothes and longer sleeves

The scent of life and joyous eves

A thankful day is rising in

For Christmas tide will soon begin

The wrong will die and right will win

Lost

This is the second lap, so how much more?

My opportunity is great, my disposition poor.

As I came around the bend, I sprinted ahead

And I’m alone again—so I’ve been lead.

But someone whispers, “I’m running with you now,”

My legs give up, I get faster, and I know how.

I do get tired of moving so fast all the time,

Like I’ve reached the Everest top with more to climb.

When does it end? When does it stop?

When can I rest and eat my own crop?

When will the seasons stop changing to frost?

When will I finally stop feeling so lost?

The Bowling Alley

I don't bowl at a bowling alley, i work at a bowling alley. While the job may appear to be the easiest job in the world... and sometimes it is... there is really alot that goes on.

A normal day start around 10 or 11 as i pick up the trash in the parking lot that the drunk people the night before left lying around (half the attraction of the bowling alley is the bar). Then (on Saturdays like today) the Jr League starts. The Jr. League is a bowling league for children, and it ususally consists of 2-4 kids. I believe it is justifiably the lamest league that has ever existed. Today, the 6th week of the league, my boss called me and told me i had a letter from the USBA (United States Bowling Association). This letter was actually addressed to the Junior League Director, who turned out to be me. So what does being the Junior League Director mean? Basically if something random goes wrong, i get blamed... and nothing else really.

After our two junior bowlers left around 12, we were pretty slow until about 3pm. I wisely used that time to watch college football. Each lane has a nice flat screen, and i am able to watch all the games televised (on BrightHouse anywho) at once. However BrightHouse does not get the BigTen Network, which was airing the Michigan vs. Michigan State game. It is usually a good game, and this year didn't disappoint. But sadly MSU escaped a good Michigan comeback to win in OT 26-20. Props to MSU... even though they were favored to the win the game.

At 3pm, the birthday party arrived, and this is where the difference between simply working at the bowling alley and running the bowling alley shows. Dealing with a party is challenging enough... but balencing it with problems in the kitchen and machinery malfunctioning can be stressful and tiresome to say the least. Today we were short a cook (our only cook), and somehow lane 5's speaker was linked with lane 13's speaker, so both lanes could hear everything the other lane bowlers were saying... which was a wierd problem. But things settled down once the cook arrived and I solved the mysterious speaker problem.

It was a long day, but eventually 5:30 came and i was relieved of my duties after wrapping up the bar shift.

To recap: MSU beat Mich, i had to deal with underage drinkers, and the birthday party went well. Just another day at the bowling alley.

Now I know what you (the reader) are thinking: "That was a pretty boring story." How do I know that? It was my mom's repsonse every day this summer when she would ask what the most interesting part of my day was, and i would tell her something along the lines of the above.

I'm sorry... but it's the only story i have to tell today.

Maybe we'll both get lucky and tomorrow will be funny and exciting.

The Big Decision

Some things, for sure, we can’t be sure about

While some things we know, and know without a doubt

So what do we do when we’re given a choice

And we cannot hear the sound of our voice?

We don’t know what we want

We don’t know what we need

We don’t know if we’ll end up trapped or free

We don’t know which future will end up real

We don’t know how that special someone will feel

Our lives are marked by the choices we make

We do what we can and accept our fate

Yes, we must move on as we hope and pray

That we made the right choice at the end of the day